In a box of various knick knacks and trash lay two envelopes. I recognize the handwriting and the return addresses. I've spent the last hour reading and rereading notes to remind me that for the last 7 years of my life I have wasted and squandered every bit of good in me and have too many times "missed the boat" and am terrified that this time it really is too late. And I feel like the biggest asshole on planet earth. I feel like my heart in breaking into a million pieces with every breath I take and I've felt this way for years but tonight it hits me like a ton of lead bricks. I don't know if there is any way to put it back together again. I don't know who I am or where I am going or what is going to happen next and I don't really know if I care much at all anymore. From this moment to the next to all those that came before life will be and has been and continues to be nothing but a dream upon waking and a nightmare upon sleep. Somebody please come wake me up.
In a box of various knick knacks and trash lay two envelopes. I recognize the handwriting and the return addresses. I've spent the last hour reading and rereading notes to remind me that for the last 7 years of my life I have wasted and squandered every bit of good in me and have too many times "missed the boat" and am terrified that this time it really is too late. And I feel like the biggest asshole on planet earth. I feel like my heart in breaking into a million pieces with every breath I take and I've felt this way for years but tonight it hits me like a ton of lead bricks. I don't know if there is any way to put it back together again. I don't know who I am or where I am going or what is going to happen next and I don't really know if I care much at all anymore. From this moment to the next to all those that came before life will be and has been and continues to be nothing but a dream upon waking and a nightmare upon sleep. Somebody please come wake me up.
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