I'm saying "fuck you" to this week and bidding it farewell by reading Bukowski, drinking wine, eating burgers and letting myself melt into the hot and moist air outside. An overwhelming and crippling sense of defeat is consuming me. I feel helpless, alone and uncertain. Not a leg to stand on, barely a lung to breathe with. I want the sky to swallow me whole tonight or to dissolve me into the wet dirt in the lawn. These days have been for aching.



“Out of the ash I rise with my red hair
And eat men like air”
-Sylvia Plath



"The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
I know it's unkind but my own blood is much too dangerous
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time

Compared to some I've been around
But I really tried so hard
That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"

In the end I was the mean girl
Or somebody's in-between girl
Now it's the devil I love
And that's as funny as real love
And that's as real as true love

That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on""

-Neko Case, "Hold On, Hold On"

0 comments